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First published in the Baptist Times 26/2/09
DANCER IN THE DARK Clare Nonhebel
When dancer Lesley Botchway says her life changed ‘in the blink of an eye' it's not a metaphor.
One moment she was leaning forward to pick up her flight bag in Bangkok Airport, and the next moment a bottle of beer on the duty-free stall exploded, blinding her right eye.
Having started dance training late, at the age of 14, Lesley quickly became successful. ‘My first job was a world tour with the boy-band Take That!'
It was followed by tours with other celebrities - All Saints, Destiny's Child, boy-band 5IVE, singer Bryan Adams - a contract with the Royal Scottish Ballet, West End stage shows such as Starlight Express, the Royal Variety Show, film launches, product launches, pop videos, and a lot of TV shows.
Lesley thrived on the hard-driven, glamorous lifestyle. ‘I had celebrity friends, my own flat in Hampstead, and there was always another party to go to. By God's grace I avoided the cocaine and the promiscuity that are so much part of the business but I was drinking heavily.
‘On tour you're with people 24 hours a day and they're paying for your time - you belong to them! If you don't go along with the drinking every night after shows, they think you're critical of them. You make yourself fit in or you don't get picked next time.'
Lesley's eldest brother Gerhardt and his wife Sybil and three children were Christians and ‘a beautiful family unit,' Lesley says. ‘Their home had this calm, and they prayed about everything. They were praying for me to come to Christ but why would I need Christ? I had everything. Life was great!'
By 1999 when she was selected ‘after a massive audition' as one of 20 dancers for a birthday spectacular for the King of Thailand (‘The set cost £3 million and his present was two napkin rings worth £1 million each'), Lesley was at the top of her profession.
So it was ‘in the blink of an eye' that she saw her whole career and lifestyle wiped out as she crouched in the airport with ‘brown gunk - which turned out to be my lens - pouring out of my right eye. I couldn't see, I panicked, I was passing out.'
All Lesley wanted to do was go home but a doctor said, "There's a hole in your eye; you can't fly." She was taken off the plane to hospital. Two friends stayed with her.
‘I had a four-hour operation; they removed my lens and put 110 steel stitches in my eye. I asked if I'd get my sight back and the doctor said, "No."
‘I went home to Moorfields Eye Hospital in London and had six operations over the next year. The worst thing was having stitches removed; they were constantly taking them out and putting others in, to get the pressure right. For two months I went to the hospital every day and used eye drops every hour, day and night.
‘I obviously couldn't dance. At first I wasn't even allowed to stand up because it altered the pressure in the eye. I lost my balance. I couldn't see where things really were so I fell down kerbs and off toilet seats. I tried to stay positive, but I was very low.
‘Gerhardt took me to church so people could pray for my eye; I went a few times but I was so high on morphine I didn't feel anything and I wasn't going every week - I had a hangover every Sunday morning.
‘But they kept praying for me and, for some reason, when Gerhardt asked what I'd like for my birthday I said "a bible." He got me an Amplified Bible - purple, very pretty! - that I didn't open for four years.
‘I was angry at God. I thought, "I'm not a bad person and look what's happened to me!"'
Nine months after the accident, Lesley was booked for a cornea graft that might restore some vision. She was still in a lot of pain but had adjusted to the now four-hourly eyedrop routine and was better able to keep her balance. But when she heard that auditions were being held for boy-band 5IVE's international tour, she hit a low.
‘I'd done videos for them and this was their first world tour; I wanted to be part of it. I was on my bed drinking a bottle of wine, depressed, and my sister-in-law said, ‘Pray for what you want - be specific.'
Lesley was sceptical. ‘I thought, it's Saturday evening, the tour starts on Monday, it's fully cast, I haven't danced for nine months, people know I'm not available for work - and God's going to be concerned with getting me on some tour? But I prayed.
‘Very early on Sunday morning I got a phone call from 5IVE's choreographer, asking how I was. One of the girls had got an offer to dance with Diana Ross and had pulled out. There were ten dances to learn by Friday for a show in Wembley Arena, plus exits and entrances involving abseiling on to the stage on ropes.
‘He said, "I was thinking, who can I get to learn all that in the time? And your name just popped into my head." He asked me if I was dancing again. I said yes.
‘I thought: this is just too weird - something's going on here! It had to be God. It didn't stop me drinking and going out, but I was really grateful.'
During the four-month tour the dancers did five live shows and three or four TV appearances a week, and a lot of travelling. ‘It was hard, with my eye. I couldn't judge distances and for one number we had to wear masks which meant I couldn't rely on my left eye to do the work of the right one. But I did it somehow.'
Once home, Lesley went to stay with her younger brother. ‘One Sunday I decided to go to church. I was an angry young black woman who wanted an argument - what can I say! But everything in the service made so much sense to me. I thought, "That was a fluke!" so I went back the next week, but it was the same. One thing they talked about was living in sin and why you shouldn't, and that made sense too.
‘They were doing Alpha so I went, and I thought - this person, Jesus, actually got nailed to a cross so I could be free! It freaked me out.
‘My prayer at my baptism was a dance, to "My Jesus, my Saviour". People cried and one person said, "I didn't realize you could worship through dance."
‘That was May 16, 2004. I was going to home group, reading my bible, praying - but still drinking, smoking and living with my partner. I got the date for my final operation, a two and a half hour procedure to replace the lens and peel and turn the cornea. They said if I was lucky it might allow up to 60 percent sight.
‘As soon as I came round they tested to see if I had any sight. I was afraid to open my eyes but there was my friend's face, so clear. I said, "Oh my God, I can see!" I had over 90 percent of my sight back. This is God's work - the power of prayer.
‘Two years ago, I made the decision to give up dancing. You can be a Christian and be in show business but for me there were conflicts.
‘I was doing a video for Aswad, a reggae band, and they gave me a g-string, a bra and a see-through dress to wear. I said, "Where's the rest of my costume? I was hired as a dancer not a stripper," so they gave me a top and shorts but they weren't happy.
‘To get jobs I'd told lies - everything from my height to my shoe size! My first job, I got when my name wasn't down for audition; they called another girl and she hadn't shown up so I said I was her. I only owned up at the final selection when they were about to phone her agent. These things never bothered me before but since I got baptized they started to niggle me.
‘I miss dancing. But I'm 35 now, I have a removals company, I've just started my own dance school and people at church have been talking about dance ministry.
‘I have so much to be grateful for. I'm still a work in progress. I asked God to remove my desire for drink and I haven't felt the want for it for five months.
‘I'm learning restraint of tongue! God wants me to be myself and I like to make him smile so I'm still bubbly Lesley - but without the drama! I was a whirlwind before. Maybe he wanted to slow me down.
‘I've run away from church a few times but I love God, love being a Christian and love my church and if I hadn't had the accident there's no way that would be.
‘It's a cliché but for me it's true: "I was blind and now I can see!"'
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