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I Rescue Girls from the Sex Trade |
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First published in Christianity magazine - Sept 2009
FIRST PERSON - I Rescue Girls From The Sex Trade
‘He’s a good Dad who loves his kids - including me!’ - Paul Darbinson talks to Clare Nonhebel
The greatest reward in my life is to see the light come back into the eyes of someone who has lost all hope.
I became involved in ministry to rescue girls and children trapped in the Thai sex industry, as part of a group of Christians from Holland who believed God was leading them to South Asia.
We started in Phuket, where up to 10,000 girls sell themselves in bars and massage parlours to support their families living in poverty. The girls appear to smile and show affection to clients but in their eyes there is a stark absence of joy and peace. Some get hooked on drugs to deal with the pain and many have taken their own lives.
Thai families support even extended family members, and for uneducated workers wages can be as little as £60 a month. Families often believe sons and daughters are in respectable jobs in the cities but for those without qualifications opportunities are scarce; the sex trade is the only way to avoid starvation.
My passion to help the hurting and lost began while I was in a Christian rehab institution recovering from my own history of being abused. I understand only too well the inner pain that drives people to escape into drink or drugs. And I know it takes long-term help before someone who has been used and mistreated can trust anyone.
The bar lifestyle forces a girl to service uncaring clients night after night, paying bar owners a fine and rent to sleep on the floor with up to 20 other girls if she doesn’t get enough clients for the night. We pay to get the girls out and I find it heartbreaking when a girl who has been rescued from this life returns there, but I know people can’t change overnight, and often it’s the whole family - and the culture - that needs help to make real change.
In the Boxing Day tsunami in 2004, we lost four team members and many of the people we’d come to know. The rest of the team moved on or went home but I stayed to help clear up the mess and drive some of the girls back home to their villages.
It changed the way I work: I’d lost contact with so many people it was like starting again. What God has been leading me to do recently is to focus on one or two people and get involved with their wider families. We’re building ‘Land of Hope’ - safe housing and a shop - and I’d love to see the project become self-sufficient, with families of rescued girls helping other girls and families escape the trade.
At first I spread myself too thinly, tried to meet all the needs, blamed myself for every failure and took too much responsibility. I’ve learned that I’m not God and can’t do everything and be everywhere. Now, with support from several churches in the UK, I’ve set up a charity - Hand in Hand Ministries - and work with other charities and NGOs, providing support and accommodation for girls leaving prostitution and seeking education or alternative work.
It’s still hard not to respond from my emotions when I see a real need and don’t have the resources to help, or when people promise financial help that doesn’t materialise. The girls lose trust so easily.
You can’t walk this journey without your own pain issues coming to the forefront at times. God used my own history to give me a desire to see every child happy, with a life to look forward to. It’s worth everything to see children who have had their mum restored to them heading to school with books and shoes and, most importantly, their self-respect - never having to follow her into working the bars.
But God has shown me that my concern for others’ lives must be accompanied by care for myself too. I know now that the abuse I suffered as a child was not his will for me and he is a good Dad who loves all his children. Including me.
More info on Hand in Hand Ministries from www.hand-in-hand.org.uk
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OPTIONAL Donation
100% of all my e-book sales will be given to Oasis India, however you might like to make an OPTIONAL one-time donation (or a regular subscription donation) of £1.00 minimum, 100% of which will also be given to Oasis India. Thank you, Clare Nonhebel.
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